The Ringtone Rant #5 - Christmas 2008 Special

Welcome to the Ringtone Rant. A monthly post about the wacky world of ringtones!

Britney Spears :: Circus

I hate to say it, but Britney is back. Circus has just exploded into the charts and within one week it has topped every chart, from digital downloads to ringtones. Britney Spears hits us with a little bit of electronic pop that is sure to light up the clubs and dominate airwaves over the next month. Head over to MobileActive and get this scorching hot track on your mobile right now!

Classic Ringtone of the Month :: Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You

Nobody does Christmas quite like Mariah Carey! This classic Christmas smash hit always goes down a treat this time of year and with Mariah’s continued success in 2008, this ringtone will be a favourite choice around the world.

Random Ringtone of the Month :: Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried

It doesn’t get much more country then the Zac Brown Band. This chilled out country beat can be enjoyed by everyone around the world, even if you’re a hip-hop fan like myself. Have a listen below and don’t be surprised if you find yourself tapping your foot and reaching for a cold beer!

Annoying Ringtone of the Month :: Beyonce Knowles - If I Were A Boy

Ok, so I don’t mind the song, but the fact she stole it from poor little BC Jean just annoys the hell ot of me. BC Jean deserves all the credit and all the $ that goes with it. Here’s a picture of BC Jean, go check her out, you won’t regret it!

A brand newX-Ray iPhone Applicationjust launched a few days ago and it’s already selling like hotcakes. This cool new app lets you fool your friends by performing two mobile magic tricks. It’s simply a matter of opening up the app, reading the instructions and mastering the trick. If you do it correctly, it’s dead easy to make your friends and family believe that your iPhone actually has the power to X-Ray any object, without any nasty side effects!

The app is only in its early days of release, hence why it’s a bit pricey at AU$9.99. But if you want to be the first person in your circle of friends to show it off, then it’s well worth the money. Here at Mobgizmo, we had a lot of fun in the office tinkering with the app and fooling the receptionist with the shocking “Skull Scanner” magic trick.

Overall, we give it a **** star rating and reckon everyone should check it out!

GET IT FROM ITUNES RIGHT NOW, JUST CLICK HERE!

- Chris Fox

The Ringtone Rant #4 - October 2008

Welcome to the Ringtone Rant. A monthly post about the wacky world of ringtones!

Hot Ringtone of the Month :: T.I. - Whatever You Like

Whether you like it or not, ‘Whatever You Like’ is the hottest ringtone this month! T.I. is on fire with this thumping track, that soared to number 1 in the states in record time. Everything from the bumpin’ chorus to T.I’s recognizable easy flow is perfected. T.I. has found his groove and is sticking to it. Expect him to be topping the charts for some time! Head over to MobileActive and get this hot track on your mobile right now!

Classic Ringtone of the Month :: John Carpenter - Halloween

It’s that spooky time of year when there’s nothing better then sneaking up on your friends and family and playing this freakishly fun ringtone. Halloween is a classic ringtone that will live on forever on handsets all over the globe, waiting patiently for October to roll around so it can come out and scare the pants off everyone who listens. Download this ringtone, if you dare!

Random Ringtone of the Month :: 50 Cent - Get Up

It’s so fresh, I don’t even know what to make of it, but hey, it’s 50 Cent, so it’s bound to blow up. Check out the video below and make up your own mind.

Annoying Ringtone of the Month :: Kanye West - Love Lockdown

Love Lockdown is a big let down from old mate Kanye West. Yeezy once dominated the ringtone charts with masterpieces like Stronger and Gold Digger, but for some reason feels the need to channel his soul side with this strange ballad, that seems so out of character, it’s barely distinguisable as his work. Epic FAIL.

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I’ll be honest; I’m not much of a mobile “gamer”. My knowledge of mobile games doesn’t really extend beyond ‘Snake’, which I stopped worshipping at least five years ago. However, I do have a couple of friends who are right into downloading java games for their mobiles. And yes, they are all male.
Whilst I’m a bit more inclined to watch videos of Project Runway or The Hills (don’t roll your eyes, I never said I was a savvy TV watcher), some of my male mates would much rather whip out their Nokia, jump online, and download Texas Hold’Em Poker, or Guitar Hero, or Surviving in General: For Dummies.

If that last one isn’t already a mobile java game then it should be…

It seems most mobile phones these days have gaming capabilities, such as Nokia, Motorola, LG, Sony Ericsson, Panasonic, and plenty more. There is a huge market for mobile applications, and whilst doing a little bit of mobile game research, I stumbled across one java download that really made me laugh: My Bridezilla.

My Bridezilla is an interactive wedding bonanza. For a mere $7, you can download this java game onto your mobile and explore all the disasters that come with organising a wedding. You play the bride’s sister, and it’s your job to prevent the bride from turning into (drum roll please!), you guessed it, Bridezilla! A must have for every bride to be, right? Perhaps one to throw on the bridal registry.
This may come as a huge shock, but My Bridezilla still hasn’t sold me on mobile gaming. From this, I am led to wonder if it is a gender thing. Are the many girls out there who enjoy playing the occasional java game on their mobile? Or perhaps they enjoy playing the more than occasional java game on their mobile?

I think the main reason I shy away from mobile games is because mobile gamers remind me of those damn Nintento DS train kids, and we already know how I feel about them. Plus, isn’t it all a bit much for a public arena? Mobile videos are one thing, you sit still and you watch. When I picture a mobile gamer I see myself on the training sitting next to a boy whose elbows continually dig into my ribs, his tongue is hanging out of his mouth and to the side, and there’s a constant “Yesss!” or “Damn!” escaping his lips, followed by a quick look around to check if anyone heard. I don’t want to be this person. In fact, I don’t want to be near this person.

I want to put my earphones in and watch So You Think You Can Dance – so sue me!

- Marly

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Mobile phones have been revolutionised. A phone isn’t just a phone anymore. It’s a GPS, it’s the internet. It’s a television, it’s a computer. It’s a cinema, it’s a games arcade, it’s a radio. It is anything you want it to be.

After the last season of So You Think You Can Dance! I found myself completely enthralled by the prospect of mobile video, and was downloading any SYTYCD video I could get my hands on. Boring train rides – abolished. The disappointment of missing the TV segment – nonexistent. The one problem? My teeny tiny mobile screen on my old phone. SYTYCD contestants suddenly looked like tap-dancing ants – mind you, wonderfully talented tap dancing ants. So I upgraded!

When I asked around about mobile video, I got a mixed response from people. Whilst some people loved that they were able to download mobile video – sometimes even free mobile video – of their favourite shows, other people reacted with more of a “why would you want to watch videos on your mobile?” response.

I tend to be more ‘for’ mobile video than ‘against’ it. Mobile phones screens are bigger than ever, I think the screen on my new mobile rivals the TV I have in my lounge room. So watching clips streamed through to your mobile is not as impractical as you would think – not if you’ve got the right medium for it. I suppose the main downside is that you look like a bit of an idiot sitting on the train chuckling into your mobile as you watch the latest Family Guy episode. But you can’t look any worse than the ‘Nintendo DS Kids’ that keep popping up on my trains. On a side note, a shout out to the DS Kids – ‘there’s no fun in Alien Invasion if you’re just a spectator, turn the volume down, commuters aren’t enjoying the game as much as you are!’.

Most people won’t sit at home and watch or download videos onto their mobiles, not if they have the option of a bigger TV or computer screen. It’s safe to assume that most mobile video watching takes place in the public domain. Perhaps on the train, or bus, or car (unless you’re the driver, that would be a worry). So I think when it comes to mobile video, there are a few key points to be aware of and if you take them into consideration before downloading mobile video then you’ll be just fine.

ie. It’s not a good idea to download/watch video clips of porn on your mobile. At least not in public. Commuters don’t want to watch the latest Fluff and Fold with you on the train to work.

ie. Downloading funny mobile videos is fine. Laughing at them like you are in the privacy of your own home is not fine. The person opposite you doesn’t want to be wearing your spittle on their face. And if they do, put the phone down immediately and start communicating.

ie. Always wear earphones. Not everyone thinks Australian Idol is, like, the best show everrrr.

- Marly

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I’ve never really thought too much about the implications of mobile graphics. This is mainly because the wallpaper on my phone has always been that of the one, stable, love of my life: my dog. She’s in the bath, she’s wearing a shower cap, and her coat is soaked. Don’t listen to what my friends say, it’s not true, she looks adorable, but I’ve never really thought about why I have it as my wallpaper up till now.

One of my friend’s has recently had an argument with her boyfriend over – low and behold – the picture he’s using as his mobile phone wallpaper. ‘Why is that?’ you ask. Simple. Because it’s not of her. Flip open her brand new LG and the first thing you see is a photo of her boyfriend, fast asleep in bed – I’ll pause for a moment to let you vomit.

You done? (Just kidding, people in love are great, I’m not really a bitter single…)

However, flip open his Motorola Razor and you’ll find a photo of a schooner of beer. Therein lies her problem. At first I couldn’t really see what the big deal was about this. So I said to her, “I can’t really see what the big deal is about this”. But, it turns out that according to her it was a big deal. Apparently, she had saved a picture of herself as his wallpaper and as his mobile screen saver (kinda screams ‘psycho bitch’ if you ask me), and he has now changed it. To a schooey of beer.

The conversation that followed went – more or less – like this:

Me: So he has a schooner of beer as a wallpaper, so what?
Her: It’s not that he has a schooner of beer as his wallpaper, it’s that he has it instead of having me.
Me: Are you hearing yourself?
Her: Give me your phone.
Me: What, why?
Her: Just give me it.
Me: No.
Her: Give me your phone.
Me: Are you going to set my wallpaper to a picture of you?
Her: Har har.
I reluctantly pass my Nokia slide to her, which she slides open.
Her: Look at your mobile background.
Me: It’s my dog.
Her: Why would you have your dog as your mobile wallpaper?
Me: Because she’s the cutest thing ever and I love her!!
Her: Aha!

Point proven.

Though part of this makes me wonder if we’re just being a little bit pedantic. I mean, after all,
isn’t it just a wallpaper on his mobile? I voice this thought to my friend who looks absolutely
aghast, “he replaced me!”. I know better than to push it any further, so I just call him a bastard
and she seems pleased enough.

It does get me thinking about how times have changed though. In the good old days girls only got mad at their boyfriends if they caught them with another woman, or if they hadn’t heard from them in over a week, or if they discovered their boyfriend was living a double life and had a wife and eight children. When did a mobile wallpaper or screensaver become a statement?
And, more importantly, if a mobile background of your partner says ‘I love you’, does
a wallpaper of a schooner say ‘but I love beer more’?

- Marly

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In the past week, two of my good friends have gone out, had a bit to drink, and lost their mobile phones by the end of the night. In an age where mobile phones are more like an extension of your body than a basic communication tool, this posed quite a problem for us. We finally managed to coordinate a catch-up, using the good old fashioned method of calling the home phone, which feels like one step off tying a note to pigeon and hoping it reaches its destination.

After we sat down over coffee with one of my newly mobile-less friends proclaiming she felt “liberated” without her phone, to which we responded by promptly slapping her across the face, we launched into a long-winded and rather pointless discussion (much like the intro to this blog) about mobile phones, and somehow settled on the topic of ringtones.

The conversation stemmed from an awkward moment I experienced on the train ride home from work, whereby a man’s phone rang and unfortunately it was buried in the bottom of his backpack somewhere. This happens to the best of us, many times my own phone has lost itself in my handbag, skilfully evading me as I frantically try to find it before it stops ringing. The problem with this man’s phone, however, was his ringtone. A female orgasming. The longer it rang, the louder it got. A stunned silence settled over everyone in the carriage as we listened to his phone climaxing. Needless to say, he didn’t find his phone until right on the crescendo and by the time he went to answer the caller had hung up. He was left red-faced, the entire carriage felt awkward, and I felt like I needed a shower, the whole experience left me wondering ‘how real should a real tone be?’.

Ringtones have had a big facelift over time. Gone are the days of the standard ‘briinnnng brinnnnnng’ ringtone. In fact, I don’t even remember a time when ‘briiinnnng brinnnng’ was standard, the “Nokia” ringtone is as basic as I can remember and even that seems like a lifetime ago. Nowadays, there’s monophonic and polyphonic ringtones, mp3 ringtones, realtones and truetones, even online tones – which are ringtones that are synched with your computer so that if your phone rings whilst you are on the computer, your computer rings.

…ok, so there’s no such thing as online tones.

It doesn’t matter if you have a Nokia, or a Samsung, a Motorola, LG, Siemens, Sagem, iPhone, or Ericsson, there’s a crazy ringtone for every phone, but I believe in ringtone etiquette. So I’ve created a top five list of ‘don’ts’ for when it comes to downloading ringtones:

1. DON’T have sexual sound effects for a ringtone – no one is impressed. It’s awkward and embarrassing for everyone and it makes you look like a bogan.
2. DON’T download the crazy frog ringtone. Unless you have a death wish.
3. DON’T dip in for gimmicks like a circus ringtone – you’ll look like a clown.
4. DON’T download a clip of someone screaming “pick up the phone” – you risk someone else picking up your phone. And throwing it at you.
5. DON’T go near ringtones that are going to say too much about yourself. Like the Divinyls ‘I touch myself’ – not cool. The only people who want to hear about that are perverts, and you don’t want to hear from them. Or do you…

- Marly

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Brace yourselves. The world is about to be overtaken by androids. Android phones, that is. A new mobile has been brought to my attention, it’s called the ‘Google Phone’, using Google’s Android mobile software platform.

It is a new smart phone set to rival Apple’s newly released iPhone. Google Australia spokespeople are yet to confirm a release date, but the Android Phone was developed by manufacturer HTC and released with telecommunications group T-Mobile. The phone is said to retail at US$179, so a little cheaper than Apple’s iPhone, but whether or not it can match the iPhone’s applications is another question altogether.

Google’s Android phone, The G1, will be available in three colours. Like most smart phone’s that have been emerging, it will feature a slide-out qwerty keyboard, however it will come equipped with Google software applications, including Google Maps and g-mail. But that’s not all, the Android phone is rumoured to have GPS capabilities, WiFi, a touchscreen, an accelerometer, a camera – which is better than the iPhone’s but still doesn’t outclass camera’s on certain Nokia’s, and an app market – much like that of the iPhone. One of the main benefits for Google is that the more manufactures that build the Android Phone, then the more opportunities there are for Google to roll out applications like Google Maps – complete with Street View, Google Reader, and Google Chrome.

The big question, however, is ‘how will the Google Phone stand up against competitors such as the iPhone?’. It’s not enough to just have a suave name – you’ve got to admit ‘Android Phone’ is pretty damn suave. Whilst the G1 will challenge Apple’s iPhone as a new device that is able to download digital music from amazon.com, the G1 cannot compete with Apple’s sleek design. Users have already commented that the G1 looks and feels ‘plastic and clunky’ by comparison. Some even going as far to call it plain ugly.

The G1 is not ground breaking, as such. Much of what it is offering has been offered by phones before it; however, it is the Android platform it uses that can open all kinds of software opportunities. So what is the verdict? According to most, Google’s Android Phone is good, but the iPhone is better. The Google phone is not doing any dramatically new and different to blow it competitors out of the water, however, it is coming close.

All these smart phones worry me just a tiny bit; I mean can a phone be too smart? Who knows, if we keep building smarter phones they might outsmart us all one day. They might band together and take over the world – don’t scoff, I mean, they are called Android’s after all!

- Marly

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Is on show over at T-Mobile:

http://www.t-mobileg1.com/default.aspx

So go check it out cause it’s freakin’ awesome!

The Nokia N96 will come with a new ‘made-for-mobile TV Channel’ called Capsule N96.

Capsule is set to feature a whole host of famous people including Jonny Smith, Margo Stilley, Wayne Hemmingway, David Phelan, Ben de Lisi and Jonny Woo, all of whch will front 96 second mobisiodes encompassing topics like motoring, fashion, gadgets, comedy, culture and homes. Ok, so most of those people are from the UK and to call them famous would be a stretch, even for me…but still, it’s a great idea by Nokia.

Simon Ainslie, managing director at Nokia UK, said: “The quick-fire and exciting programming that forms Capsule N96 really reflects the dynamic nature of the Nokia N96 and its users.

“Watching great content is no longer inherently linked to your living room. Great devices like Nokia N96 allow you to decide what content and when so the opportunities are endless on where to watch new shows and old favourites alike.”